


Skin And Bones

by thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes



Series: Polydins [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith has an eating disorder, Mild Language, Multi, Polydins, Trigger warning: Eating disorder, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 18:25:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11363082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes/pseuds/thehoesthoeinallthelandofhoes
Summary: TWKeith had always had a pretty bad relationship with his body, never being skinny enough, never having enough muscle, never being just right. Being shot up into space was just another scapegoat for his coping mechanisms.





	Skin And Bones

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so first of mcfreaking all: HUGE TRIGGER WARNING!!!! EATING DISORDERS!!!!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!!!!!!!
> 
> And second of mcfreaking all: Im projecting. Again. Onto my favourite character. Again.

 Keith had always had a very negative view of his body, always spending his free time either avoiding mirrors and clothing stores like the plague, or standing in front of any remotely reflective item and pressing and pulling at his skin and flesh, silently trying to will it away. Being sent to the Garrison was a fantastic excuse for him to eat less (or not at all, somedays), excercise more, and distract himself from anything that might send him spiraling into a crying fit over how he just  _wasn't good enough._ Then, of course, being shot up into space and becoming a paladin of Voltron happened, which was an even  _better_ excuse to give into his self destructive coping mechanisms. He would spend all of his free time training, and when he couldn't (see: forbbiden to) use the training deck, he would polish and sharpen his knife, and if he was roped into eating dinner, he would push his food around on his plate, being as quiet as possible as not to draw any attention to himself, then wait until everyone was asleep, just to shove two fingers down his throat to expell whatever was left. He would often wear clothes that were a size (or two... or three) too small, as a constant reminder that he  _wasn't good enough_.He never anticipated any side effects to come along with his constant need for perfection, though he probably should have seen it coming, so when he woke up in the med bay, several worried faces surrounding him, telling him that he had fainted in the middle of training, he was more than a little surprised, to say the least. But after a few panicked moments of ' _am I dying?'_ he put two and two together and realised that he _couldn't_   _tell them the truth._ He'd just have to lie. No big deal. 

 Except it was. It was a  _huge deal,_ Keith knew that, but he couldn't tell them, not yet, not when he was  _so close_ to the definition of 'good enough' that he yearned for. Part of him knew he would be putting Voltron in jeapordy, what with being a weak link, to put it nicely. But the other, louder part of him kept telling him to continue what he was doing, and, well, who was be to deny it?

* * *

 

 "Fuck," Keith grunted, throat burning and knuckles stinging from bringing up bile into the toilet bowl for the second time that night. He sniffled and whiped away the tears that ran down his cheeks, falling onto the cold bathroom tiles and doing his best to catch his breath. His hair was falling out of the sloppy ponytail he had tried to put it in, sticking to his sweaty forehead and tickling his neck. He was about to get up and  _actually_ go to bed this time, but he was stopped in his tracks when the bathroom door opened. Shiro walked into the bathroom, not looking like he'd gotten much sleep either, freezing up and simply staring when he saw Keith on the floor, panting for breath and hands which, for once, weren't gloved and revealed scabbed and bruised knuckles.

 "Keith? Are you OK? Should I get Co-" Shiro began once he had come out of his shock, but cut himself off when he heard sniffling coming from the soaking form that was Keith.

"You weren't supposed to see this, oh god," He began, starting to fold in on himself in a desperate attempt to hide the fact that he was shirtless and vulnerable. Shiro was about to question what he'd meant, but didn't get very far, he couldn't, not when he noticed the bumps running over Keith's slumped back, his spine protruding beneath his skin like snowy valleys. He then looked over to the toilet bowl that Keith had been slumped over just minutes ago, and almost cried when all he saw was a disgusting mix of yellow-green liquid and toilet water. Shiro tentatively put a hand on Keith's tremblind shoulder, continuing onto wrap his arm around the boy completely when Keith didn't show any sign of disliking it. He hugged Keith to his chest protectively, who in return, unfolded his body and allowed himself to be cradled by his boyfriend, crying and leaving a wet patch on the shirt Shiro was wearing.

 "Keith, are you OK? And don't- don't just say you're fine if you're not," Shiro spoke, trying as hard as possible to not let his tears fall, which was growing harder with every second that his eyes threatened to betray him. At first, Keith didn't say anything, almost as if he hadn't heard him, but eventually, his answer came.

"No, Shiro, I-I'm not."

If Shiro's heart broke a little at that, well, Keith didn't say anything.

"Do you want help?"

Silence. Then:

"I don't know."

Shiro held the smaller boy so tight, almost as if he might dissapear if he let go, his jaw set so hard he feared it might break. His throat burned and tightened and he would have given anything to be able to cry at that moment, but he had to be strong, for Keith.

* * *

 

 The next morning, Keith awoke in Shiro's bed, shivering, despite the fact that he was covered in two blankets and the heat from the body next to him. He was wearing a shirt, one that was much too big for him, though he didn't remember putting in on. He turned on his side and was met with two grey eyes looking at him with so much sadness, he feared he might cry again.

 "Shiro, I'm sorry," Keith whispered, feeling guilty that he had roped the other man into his problems when he already had so many of his own.

"Don't apologise, it's not your fault. Jus- just let us help you, Keith. We love you, let us help," Shiro whispered, a single, stubborn tear falling onto the pillow as he spoke.

"O-OK, I'll tell them, j-just, don't leave me,  _please,_ " The Korean boy muttered, and was responded with a hug from Shiro.

* * *

 

 Shiro and Keith had gathered the other three paladins into Keith's bedroom later that day, serious and anxious expressions giving away that whatever they were going to do, it probably wasn't anything good. The five of them were sitting in a circle on the floor, all of them uncomfortable with the thick silence that had settled between them like a depressing fog.

 "I-I have something t-to tell you," Keith mumbled, head tilted downwards to his lap where he fiddled with the frays on his gloves.

"Are you OK?" Pidge questioned, despite how very obvious it was that he wasn't. Hunk and Lance were holding hands in an attempt to brace each other for the worst.

"I... I have an eating disorder. I d-don't eat an-and excercise too much a-... I'm not OK. I'm sorry."

 As an even more uncomfortable silence followed his statement, Keith let his tears fall freely onto his lap and hands, waiting for the others to respond. The rational part of his brain told him not to worry, that they would understand, that they would help. But the sick part of his brain told him that they'd be disgusted, that they would break up with him, that they'd scream and cry and yell at him a-

He was forced out of his thoughts when pidge practically barelled towards him, tears falling from their eyes as they hugged him, clenching and unclenching his shirt in their small fists.

"Don't you  _dare_ apologise, you bastard, we love you," Pidge stated, whiping their tears away from beneath their glasses and leaving kisses on Keith's pale neck. Keith wrapped his bony arms around Pidge's smaller form and let his own tears fall. Hunk and Lance crawled over to him as well, never letting go of each other's hands while they cried and hugged their boyfriend, leaving small kisses on his gaunt cheeks. Shiro was the last to appraoch him, opting to simply sit beside him and hold his hand, taking off Keith's black glove and running his thumb over the hard knuckles on his hand. He brought the hand up to his mouth and left a kiss on the back of it, finally allowing himself to cry. They don't remember how long they sat like that for, but when they did let go of each other, it felt like years- yet only seconds at the same time.

* * *

 

 Over the next few months, Keith slowly but surely recovered, gaining enough weight to finally be considered healthy and learning that perfect, well, didn't exist. With every pound he put on, he had to be held and hugged for hour by one of his partners, more often than not it would be Hunk, who was more than a little familiar with being insecure about your body. Lance would talk to him throughout dinner and make jokes to distract him from overthinking and just eating. Keith learned that if he wasn't concentrating on what he was eating, he couldn't worry about how many calories he was consuming, or how many sit-ups he'd have to do to burn them. And, thankfully, Lance was more than happy to take on that task. When they first found out, Pidge had spent so many days in their lab, Keith feared that they had realised what was wrong with Keith and hated him, but after a week, they ran up to him, hugged and kissed him, and gave him a bracelet. The bracelet was red (of course), with white on the edges. It didn't look like much, but with that bracelet, all of the other paladins, who had also gotten bracelets in their respective colours, would get a notification when one of the other's were hurt, or in any kind of trouble at all. Keith had cried for what felt like the hundreth time in his recent history and hugged them so tight Pidge thought their ribcage might implode.

 Shiro had mostly been the one to explain everything to Allura and Coran, who both tried their best to be as understanding as possible, and keep Keith away from anything that might trigger him as much as he could. He had managed to present Keith from relapsing far more than just once, which the red paladin was _eternally_ grateful for, to say the least.

 To this day, Keith was still not fully recovered, and sometimes he got a bit too close to relapsing for comfort, but he was on the right track, thanks to his partners, which was all that mattered.

 

**Author's Note:**

> \\_(• - •)_/


End file.
